Uninspired Blogger Discusses her Spiral into Self-Doubt

In August, we reported the story of a 20-something year old white girl who started a blog. We decided to catch up with her and see how the blog was progressing. After many failed attempts at contact through email, phone calls, text messages, instagram DM’s, snapchats, facebook messages, tweets, and carrier pigeons, the blogger finally called us back and agreed to an interview.

Reporter: Hey! It’s so good to hear from you again. Thank you for finally setting up an interview with us!

Blogger: Of course. I owe a lot of the initial success of my blog to you guys.

Reporter: That’s awesome. Tell us, what have your first few months in the blogging world been like?

Blogger: First few months have been so much fun. I set out to publish about one post a week, and I had no problem meeting that goal. I had a wealth of ideas that never seemed to run out. I was shocked and grateful every time I got a new subscriber. I was proud of the work I was publishing and proud of myself for actually writing for once.

Reporter: Fantastic! What was one of your favorite pieces you published?

Blogger: Oh that would probably have to be “I Tried a Pumpkin Spice Latte for the First Time…and I Died“. That one was so much fun to write. There were so many twists and turns that I didn’t even see coming myself. I loved it.

Reporter: You know, I was inspired to try a pumpkin spice latte for the first time after reading that one, and I can proudly say that I did not die! It was tasty though.

Blogger: Haha.

Reporter: Now, I couldn’t help but notice that you haven’t posted since October 19th. That’s a whole month! What happened to posting every week?

Blogger: Yes…ummm. There’s a perfectly reasonably explanation for that. You see, I was, umm, I was very busy and…

Reporter: …

Bloger: And…

Reporter: …

Blogger: I WAS UNINSPIRED, OK? I RAN OUT OF IDEAS, AND I WAS UNINSPIRED, SO I DIDN’T POST FOR A WHOLE MONTH. THERE, ARE YOU HAPPY!?

Reporter: We’ll be right back after the commercial break. Stay tuned for more on a young blogger’s spiral into guilt and self-doubt.

Blogger: What? Wait isn’t this a print interview?

Reporter: …

Blogger: Hello?

Reporter: Aaaand we’re back! So before the commercial break, you lashed out due to shame. Can you tell us more about this?

Blogger: Look, I didn’t come here to fall into some sort of trap. Don’t you want to hear more about my writing process or something?

Reporter: No. Tell us, when you first set out to create your blog, did you ever imagine that you would fail at achieving your dreams?

Blogger: It was one month! I stopped posting for one month! Can’t I catch a break?

Reporter: I believe it was Confucius who said, “Our greatest glory is not in catching a break, but in catching a dream.”

Blogger: I sincerely doubt Confucius ever said that.

Reporter: Mmmm, I’m pretty sure he did.

Blogger: …

Reporter: I didn’t major in philosophy for nothing, sister.

Blogger: Right… Listen, if you’re just gonna keep making me feel bad about myself, then I’m gonna go.

Reporter: Okay, okay. Just, will you answer one more question? Please?

Blogger: Fine.

Reporter: So, let me start by saying that I love the perspective you bring to your posts. It’s always so fresh and unexpected.

Blogger: Thank you.

Reporter: Is your attempt at ingenuity born out of your fear of mortality, being the inconsequential spec of dust in the vastness of the universe you are?

Blogger: [HANGS UP THE PHONE]

Thank you again to the 20-something year old white girl for speaking with us. We hope it revealed a thing or two about the inner mind of a blogger.

Hey, wasn’t it Descartes who said, “I think, therefore I blog”?